Has it really been two weeks?

Yes, I guess it has. See what happens when you get a round to it?

I've been so busy with my life that I needed a gentle reminder yesterday that there are some of you out there who anxiously await a new blog from me (more than once every two weeks)

I just happen to have taken pictures of one of our garden friends yesterday morning.

In my last post I had a photo of a small grayish/greenish baby? praying mantis. Remember it?

Well the dog, in all of his cuteness had to go outside for his morning business. This is the dog, his name is Teeko. Isn't he cute?

So while the dog is running around in the yard protecting us from everything that might have walked past in the night I glance over to my left and see some grass stuck on the grill. I have to admit I squealed a bit when the grass moved as I got closer to it. Turns out, the mantis has grown and gotten its bright green color. I'm going to pretend it is one of the locals from 'round the other side of the house, same guy I took pictures of two weeks ago... yes? humor me. I'd like to think the neighbors are happy with us.

And I've watched so many episodes of CSI I know how important it is to include something in a photo so you have an idea of its actual size. Scale? I believe its called. I didn't happen to have a dollar bill handy, but I did have a bottle cap. So there you go. You can see that it really is just a tiny little thing, but way cool in all its perfect smallness.

I will gladly take suggestions for a name for this neighbor of mine. I plan on keeping an eye out and snapping pictures if he happens to hang around for the summer.

So now...

That I've gotten a roundtoit. I've been pretty busy doing stuff.
More recently, spending time in the garden and getting my seedlings that

are now finally grown up... out into the big old world. (the side flowerbed of the yard really)

The tomato plants were getting too big for their pots and were also tall enough for the cat

to think they were quite fun to bat around. Before they died I figured I should get them outside where hopefully, they will grow.

I've also managed to keep a few herbs away from the cat. I think I will just leave these inside, It doesn't look like they will get much bigger.

And while trimming the forsythia bush back a bit, I noticed some movement... before I screamed ( I hate spiders, and its ALWAYS a spider) I realized

that it wasnt a spider this time, in fact, it appeared to be a pair of baby praying mantis (manti?)

I couldnt only find one of them after I ran inside to grab the camera.

At least, it sure looks like a praying mantis, although I have never seen one this small before. It was probably no more than 2 inches long. I thought it was pretty cool that we had baby mantises? what is the plural for that anyway....

Get a round to it!

Feeling stretchy and fragile still, but feeling grateful for it.

Life is good, so says my shirt

And I have a matching leather bracelet from the same store that says

Do what you like Like what you do.

Famous words eh?

I try to do what I like... writing, making jewelry, drawing...

Like what I do seems to be the bigger issue here. Fear is keeping me from my studio. Part of this stretchy feeling that I am experiencing is my energy expanding and stretching my insides. And then UN-stretching *after the growth everything stops stretching but it doesnt really go back the way it was*( Is that even a word?) is leaving all of this space inside. I don't want the space that has been created to fill up with MORE fear and therefore, I am trying to fill it up with creative ideas, thoughts, energy and self love.

So I've been working hard on not caring so much about what others think of me, or what I do. About not taking on other peoples "stuff" . ( I still do it, but not as often and I'm more aware of it). I need to just jump... leap into my creative self and just get it out there. (like writing this blog, seriously I talk myself out of posting stuff ALL the time.)

There is always a reason not to, something always comes up. I'll blog, write, journal, create, paint, draw (insert your own here) when I get around to it. Its always when I get around to it.

No more excuses. I have a solution to my "I'll get around to it" problem.

I stopped worrying what people would think of me for making crazy blog posts filled with pictures that only I care about. But I remember that, after all this blog really is about me , isn't it? and I'd snap a few pictures with my cell phone and see what kind of pictures I can get.

and in a sudden fit of creativity....

I made some art from crap in my desk...I made a "round to it". One big one for me

and several small ones for friends. No more excuses... here's your "round to it"

get it?

part 2

June 2, 2007
Thanks for being patient with me. After not posting for so long I didn’t want to scare you all off with an extra long post that you might have gotten tired reading through. So back to my “shifting” shall we…

As I was saying, Toni pulled a power thought card on the evening of May 16th…

“The Ocean of life is lavish with its abundance. All my needs and desires are met before I even ask. My good comes from everywhere and everyone and everything.”

The next day (May 17th) I sat down in the morning with my coffee and opened my email to find a gem of a post from The Daily Om horoscope.The topic for the day was UNDERSTANDING ABUNDANCE. *enter twilight zone music* This is what it had to say.
“You may look about you and see many reasons to feel grateful today. The success you have achieved in a professional arena and your personal triumphs can both contribute to a growing sense of satisfaction that leaves you feeling eager to pay tribute to the universe that has blessed your life so completely. As you contemplate different ways of articulating your gratitude, you will likely discover that you have a new found appreciation for the relative level of your prosperity. You may be suddenly struck today by the fact that you have earned and acquired so much during this lifetime, and this fact can take you down a diverse range of emotional paths.
When we articulate the gratitude we feel for the blessing s we have received throughout our lives, our perception of those blessings becomes more refined and we gain a better understanding of our own relative abundance. It is easy to accept the erroneous belief that we are somehow deprived when we compare ourselves to others instead of considering our prosperity as a standalone entity. To feel a deep appreciation for our abundance that exists in isolation from worldly comparisons, we must first allow ourselves to feel thankful for all we have. As learn gratitude, we see we have been blessed with a level of affluence and success that is indicative of both our grace and of the goodness yet to come. Your desire to give thanks for your life’s bounty today will help you gain a more thoughtful conception of your individual circumstances.”


I wrote in my journal that day , reflections on abundance. I am really making a conscious effort to be AWARE of the multitude of abundance that I am immersed in, surrounded by.

G.K. Chesterton said “Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
And Thomas Merton said “We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us. But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it.”

Always, I really do always have enough. My bills are paid, I have a new truck, a new laptop, a full time job with benefits, wonderful friends, a beautiful girlfriend, my health, a roof over my head, food to eat, running water, clothes to wear… I could go on and on and list 100 things. I have already done that, in my personal journal. But I challenge you, reader to write down a list of 100 things that YOU are grateful for. You won’t be sorry.

The long awaited post...part 1

Thursday May 31, 2007
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.
~Anais Nin

I have had a blog post stewing in my creative being for several l weeks now. I’ve mentioned it in the previous post and I’ve been asked, told, prodded and practically begged to get it written down. So here I sit, anxious at the keyboard, wondering if I can form the words that have been stirring in my being.
Feelings, ideas, thoughts spinning and swirling in the soup of my soul…

May 16 was the new moon. And on the new moon is when you can write new moon checks , or abundance checks. There is a link here that will explains the what, where, why, and how of the entire process. I have a feeling this blog post is going to be abundantly long, so I’ll let you all research the idea yourself. J
Life is full of syncronicities, and as I’m writing about abundance I’ll tell you that I started reading Pronoia is the antidote to Paranoia: How the Whole world is conspiring to shower you with blessings by Rob Brezsny on May 15th. For any of you who own the book you’ll understand when I say this is what I wrote in response to the introduction page. For any of you who DON’T own the book, you’ll have to borrow a copy or buy it yourself to understand part of what I have written here.

I am learning to listen to my inner self. I am learning not to take on others “stuff”. I am wildly creative and stunningly beautiful ALL of the time. Beauty comes from within. I will learn to accept abundance in all its forms. I am blessed in all aspects of my life. I would love to have a successful jewelry business in the next 20 years and Angelina Jolie would be divine naked. I am not sure of a time where I recall being most dangerously alive.

I wrote this on May 15th and now on May 16th I write my abundance check. Across the top of the check I make sure to write I accept abundance in all its forms. I really want to work on being grateful for all that I have in my life. I want to appreciate all of the things in my life that I have, that I take for granted. I want to not WANT all of the time. Its difficult to change your focus from the great list of “wants” , to the great list of “haves”. To shift (that’s the word, SHIFTING) anyway, to shift your thinking into appreciating the haves instead of worrying about the have nots. I thought a lot about this shift in thinking, a real process, a real thing that you have to be aware of, really aware of. I amazed myself just in 12 hours all of the changing in thinking that I needed to do in order to become more appreciating and less worrying. I spoke to Toni that night on the phone and she asked if I’d like a card pulled from the Power Thought deck by Louise Hay and this is the card she pulled...

(more later, I'm still working on this)